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CHAPTER
28
COURTSHIP
WHO
COURTS honestly? Some, it is true, but few indeed. The youth of both sexes
ought, however, to be perfectly honest in their intercourse with each other so
as to exhibit always their true character and nature. Dishonesty is, perhaps, a
greater barrier even than ignorance to a proper understanding of the real
character of those with whom we contemplate matrimonial alliance. Young men and
women are not true to themselves. They put on false characters. They assume airs
not their own. They shine in borrowed plumes. They practise every species of
deception for the concealment of their real characters. They study to appear
better than they are. They seek, by the adornment of dress and gems, by the
blandishments of art and manners, by the allurements of smiles and honeyed
words, by the fascination of pleasure and scenes of excitement, to add unreal,
unpossessed charms to their persons and characters. They appear in each
other’s society to be the embodiment of goodness and sweetness, the
personification of lofty principle and holy love, when in fact they are full of
human weaknesses and frailties. The
object of courtship is the choice of a companion. It is not to woo; it is not to
charm or gratify or please simply for the present pleasure. It is simply and
plainly for the selection of a life-companion; one who must bear, suffer, and
enjoy life with US in all its frowns and smiles, joys and sorrows; one who can
walk pleasantly, willingly, and confidingly by our side through all the
intricate vicissitudes incident to mortal life. Now, how shall courtship be
conducted so as to make marriage a certainty and not a lottery? This is the
question. Now let us ask what is to be sought? You answer, A companion. What is
a companion? A congenial spirit, a person whose age, opinions, tastes, habits,
modes of thought, and feelings are similar to our own. It is one who would enjoy
what we would enjoy, dislike what we would dislike, approve what we would
approve, and condemn what we would condemn, not for the purpose of agreeing with
us, but of his or her own free will; one who is kindred in soul with us, is
already united to us by the ties of spiritual harmony. To discover this union is
the object of courtship. Courtship,
then, is a voyage of discovery. If in all the things mentioned a couple honestly
and inmostly agree, and find a deep and thrilling pleasure in their agreement,
find their union of sentiment gives a charm to their social intercourse; if now
they feel that their hearts as well as their sentiments are bound in a holy
unity, that for each other they would live and labor and make every personal
sacrifice with gladness, and that without each other they know not how to live,
it is their privilege, yes, their duty, to form a matrimonial alliance. And it
will not be a lottery. They will be married in the full blaze of light and love,
be united in a happy, virtuous, and useful union, to bless themselves and the
world with a living type of heaven.
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